The Jack of all trades…

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“What do you shoot?” If you’re a photographer how often have you been asked that question? Or even the dreaded one; “What sort of a photographer are you?” I’m never sure how to answer it –  Umm… the best one I can be?

We’re guilty of it too. We constantly try and put fellow professionals into boxes, genres and categories. “Oh, she’s an art photographer”or “he’s a wildlife photographer” and so on. I’s taken me almost 15 years in the industry and getting to the grand old age of 38 to realise we can be all things, without the need for explanation. The things I shoot tend to be very varied. I guess most of my living has come from “art” photography, but my first nationally published book would be considered more landscape photography than art photography.

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You see, fashion, art and travel are the genres that interest me, so of course that’s what I want to shoot, that’s what I want to share. I no longer buy into the ideology of having a style or genre. Why limit myself? Fuck it! I might head off to work on a Monday morning to shoot a model for a portfolio or an advertising camapaign and I might be in Berlin the week after shooting travel images. I want to shoot the things I love to shoot. No boundaries, no questions.  So as I roar into my forties (hey, it’s only a year and a bit away) I have dedicated myself to shooting what I want, when I want.

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So maybe the next time someone asks me “What do you shoot?” I can simply reply with “Anything I want to”.

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A Photographers Love of Polaroids: An Instant Love Affair.

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If I spoke to ten different photographers from ten different backgrounds, working within ten different areas of the field, I would hazard a guess that at least eight of them would have a love for the instant photograph. Whether it be the age-old chemical process of the Polaroid or the (relatively) new electronic mechanism of the Instax. They probably wouldn’t be able to explain their love or fully understand it themselves. Like a married person in the heat of an affair. Unable to comprehend it, or explain it but fascinated by it. Drawn to it.

For me, I think it’s the physical attribute of the process. It is the anti-digital but with the same immediate result. Look through the viewfinder, release the shutter, and seconds later you are holding a physical print. Something to keep, to frame, to use as a bookmark or prop up on a shelf. It gives you an instant sense of ownership, something that will live with you. In a similar way that the 12” records from the 60s and 70s look like they have been lived with – they look like they could tell a story. Every crease and coffee stain revealing something else. Put this in comparison to shooting 35mm film and it’s easy to understand the love of the instant. For most people – or at least those like me who don’t own darkrooms, you can shoot a roll of film and wait up to a week for the prints to arrive with you. It’s somehow just not the same for me. It doesn’t have the same substance. I feel a little withdrawn from the process of it.

A few months ago I went away for a weekend with my Wife, I decided to document the trip on the Fuji Instax Mini (discussed in this blog post). I took approximately 40 exposures, and those photographs have already been looked at dozens more times that the equivalent would have been – ten to twenty photographs lurking in a gallery on my iPhone. Pushed further and further down the gallery with each click of the shutter and with each screenshot.

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I like things in my life that are unpredictable. Nights out, late nights, work projects. Unpredictability fascinates me. That’s what instant film offers. It’s like the unplanned “quick pint” with your friend that ends with a 4.00 am drinking session and an almighty hangover. You’ll never know what you’re going to get with instant film. You can do your best to create the “perfect” shot. Check your lighting, stage your subject, but I can almost guarantee you won’t get the same results twice. With limited to no control over exposure, ISO, and shutter speed, and without the ability to look through a single lens, every image will be different. Each will have it’s own personality. It’s own failings and equally it’s own brilliance.

This is nothing new, photographers have been fascinated with instant film since it came to light. Professionals used it, families used it. There would have been countless nude photographs taken of partners, hidden at the bottom of drawers during a time where instant photography was the only private photography.

Maybe all of that is part of it’s charm. Today there are artists who only shoot on instant film. I truly admire that but have to admit it’s not something I could do. After a week or so I’m always pretty happy to go back to the comfort of my DSLR, like the cheating partner walking back through the door of his house. It feels like going home.

When you think of instant film it’s hard not to think of the resurgence of analogue. Vinyl is back in record stores and outselling physical CD’s. It’s a throwback to a simpler time, a time when “things” meant something. A time where things weren’t thrown away. A time where not everything was considered disposable.

– Carl Beebee.

Fade To Black…

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‘Fade To Black’ by Carl Beebee. Click on image for high res version.

Fade To Black is a series of self portraits that explore and recreates the initial, early days of separation and divorce.

The depression, loneliness, confusion and drinking that engulfs your life to a point where you feel like an outsider staring in at your own world – your own movie…

These images (others added to carlbeebee.com soon) portray the moments in the darkness – the time where reflection is essential.

They portray an ending. A final scene. The fade to black moments.