Photography as a memory.

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

11.08.2016. Fuji. VSCO.

When photography is your day to day “job” I think it becomes increasingly difficult at times to remember one of it’s most important uses; the ability to capture time and create a memory.

In a few short weeks myself and my girlfriend will be married, selfies aside I have very few (deliberate) pictures of us together that I really love, because after the completion of commissions, traveling and the general burden of day to day life, I often never get around to setting shots up. I get home and my camera is packed away until the next job.

I’m starting to make a real conscious effort to change this, because I want to remember this time in an artistic way. I want to look back in ten, twenty years time and remember what we looked like, what we wore, what our apartment was like etc. I want to remember the details. I want to have proof of them.

Although the photograph above is “staged” and stylized it is very ‘us’. This is how we hang out, this is what we do. This is our house. These are all of the details that I want printed in my memory.

I’ve tried these personal projects before, and honestly most of the time I have failed miserably, but I intend to start “creating” a photograph of the two of us once a week. Some of them I will post, some of them will remain private. But I’ll have them. To keep. To remember. To check. To look back on when tomorrow becomes yesterday.

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Fade To Black…

Image 1 of 6  'Fade To Black' by Carl Beebee
Image 1 of 6
‘Fade To Black’ by Carl Beebee. Click on image for high res version.

Fade To Black is a series of self portraits that explore and recreates the initial, early days of separation and divorce.

The depression, loneliness, confusion and drinking that engulfs your life to a point where you feel like an outsider staring in at your own world – your own movie…

These images (others added to carlbeebee.com soon) portray the moments in the darkness – the time where reflection is essential.

They portray an ending. A final scene. The fade to black moments.

Self Portraits – Morning

I was asked recently to produce a small set of self portraits. I decided to take five photographs of my morning routine.

The image above is the second photograph – you can see the whole series on my website by clicking here.

Over the last year or so I’ve taken more self portraits than ever before – Previously it was always something I tried to avoid but as I’ve grown older it’s something I’ve embraced – perhaps it is connected to fatherhood and a realization of mortality?

Self(?) Portrait

Magazine Portrait
Self(?) Portrait – 2011

I shot this yesterday to help with some inspiration. I really like the idea of shooting some portraits where the face is missing from the shot. I’m looking at the idea of using lighting techniques to hide the face as well as using objects to cover it up.

There’s some appealing about a faceless portrait which I can’t quite explain – but I plan on exploring it a little bit more.

www.carlbeebee.com

Self Portrait – Seeing Double

I was asked recently by an online photography magazine to produce a new self portrait under the category ‘Living’.

I knew that I wanted to somehow put myself in the shot twice, I also knew that I wanted my wife and a piece of my artwork to feature in the portrait.

Above is the photograph which I’ve finally settled on – let me know what you think.

www.carlbeebee.com